This is what you get when I can't sleep. To be more specific, I don't want to.
 Followed 1 pretty sad tumblr. So this is why.
Anyhow, they are pretty meaningful.

I like this a lot.

Yea. The few posts are all.... mixed-feelings-kinda-posts.
Weird but that's how I feel. Happy. Sad. Shall call it Hapad (LOL -_-)
Okay it's hitting 4am now. Gonna hit the sack and wake up at 6am for some shows before planning my revision.

Officially back from the UK trip.
I hope what's said in the picture applies to me. Things will inevitably end. So long as you cherish that moment?
Perhaps it wouldn't happen again, ever but at least it happened?
(Positive JieLin telling Negative JieLin)

Sometimes some things are way too much for me to handle. Everyone experiences the same, just in different forms, during different parts of their lives. So why should I fear when they strive on?



Be fearless.
Alright. I'm going out for supper, some warmth and a good old hug.
Love, JL.

Just got back home. Have to go out in a while to meet the peepos as well as love.


Back home, finallyy. Had a short while of L4D2 and omg. I'm dying. Headache. Want to vomit already.


Wemt out to meet them for a little while, shopped around cwp. Got food to reward myself. :D
Ham and cheese Jap pizza + cheesy hotdog. Wth they ain't as nice as before already.

Went to visit love to tell her the good news hahaaa. Got some stuff from her, chatted before heading home. I think I'm going to vomit if I continue to stare at my screen. So bye.


L4D2 later with peeps? That will probably kill me. I suck.





Post of the day:
Well. I want to pen down this.... weird feeling. Fresh from the oven brain.


Got back pw results today.


I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling now.

Let me just start with something for my group.


Dear IJ021, 

xiaobin,aisyah and derek ^w^

From your very lousy pw leader.

There are people who deserved A too.
Well, that is why I'm pretty emotional today. I can't believe it.
I don't think I'm up to the standard that's why I'm so upset.
(Okay maybe not VERY upset, just down).

I actually cried when I saw my results. It was... I don't know.

Extremely happy at first but the moment I know some of the people who deserved their A didn't get it, my mood changed.



I'm down. Like, you can't really be happy when people around you ain't happy.






They didn't show it, but I can sense the disappointment. 
Why? Because I've been there, done that.

Bad day. Bad day. *chants away*

1. Woke up at 2pm when I've tuition at 10.30am.
2. She's still pissing me like crazy every single moment.
3. A lot of packing to do
4. My hand hurts.


School is tomorrow.

That's means hectic lifestyle, again.
Rushing homework, more homework, study, learn bleh.
The cycle repeats.



I'm losing interest in blogging. -.- Yes I can't believe it.
I guess you are bored reading at posts like this.
Nowadays people are telling me blogs are boring, not interesting, cannot follow, retarded blahblahblah.

However, do they know how much does it takes to write out a decent post?



Every single word, every single picture takes time and effort.
I've to read my post again and again to make sure they are more or less coherent. Unless I'm really tired and will only do the editing the next day/couple of days.



Because it is a part of my life I can never omit.

The emotions I feel right now, at this very moment, will be forgotten in no time. However when I pen it down right here, I'll recall when I read this.



And god, I'm actually losing interest in something so important?




If only you read them as how I write them. 

Well, sucks much. Didn't really do well for both papers today... especially Econs. Practically can't finish my essaysss (sorta because one of the points aint a point at all?) and my case study.... GG.com.


Really not thinking at that point of time.
Lost 2 precious marks for chem as well. wtf why did I forget to change my answer? *stab self with RSD*

By the way it's RSD not RSB. Realised this mistake when I'm making sw guess what is it.



Through this two papers, I realised the problem lies with me.


I'm going to change. 
And make sure I do better for physics as well as other papers.




I'm NOT going to go through the same thing for Prelim1,2 and A level.



Let block test be my fall.





I don't know what happened to me but I never put in my 100% for anything for this couple of years.. Well, maybe I never did before.
Be it in academics, school, work, life, friends, relationships, resolutions etc.

So let's start.


On this eventful day - that is 23March2011 - Let's make positive changes.
That doesn't only apply to me, it applies to you as well.


Another highlight of today is:


Let's see. I don't know where to start.
There are many regrets and wrong choices I made in 2010....... One of them is meeting you.

Because of you, I join ASW monastery. fml T____T
Because of you, I start to feel my best friend is an evil doremon LOL.
Because of you, I learn to share the darkest secrets and craziest dreams.
Because of you, I'm moving with slowpok speed.
Because of you, I have tons of unglam photos up on facebook. Everyone must think I'm a freak or what.


Nevertheless, this one year has been really great.

You (and the other girls) impacted me, a lot.


You cannot deny you brought joy to a lot of people (by allowing them to tease you looool), you lend a listening ear when I need to talk, a comforting shoulder when I need someone to lean on.


*Disclaimer, a lot of people made an impact in my life, in one way or another. Not only her if not I sound so les*




I love how you point and laugh so hard at something but no sound comes out.
I love how we say the slowest one to finish packing is sw syndrome/sw shang sheng.
I love shooting you even when you're totally out of the picture.
I love how determined and motivated you are.
I love the times we come together, mahjong, shop, play, camwhore, sauna, talk, crap, gossip, laugh hysterically(applies for you only), etc etc.


Finally, this is how it feels like to have a homogeneous clique.




We get to do all the things together. Things I never do with my dearests.
they will never agree to mj/paint nails together lol.




Am glad I know you (all). 




.....This is turning into some gratitude letter.... supposing for end of the year..... to the girls..... not to the birthday girl.... LOL.



Coming back to the main point.
18. LOL. OLD. Nvm it's not like you're young when you're 17 or what.

Here, I wish you all the best for your A levels, I hope you will remain 100% positive, cheerful, thoughtful. I hope you'll be faster and get rid of sw and yq syndrome. I hope you will ace your geog paper later. I hope you will have straighter hair and bigger eyes, I hope we remain in contact one year from now because it'd be your loss to lose me as a friend yup yup!

Happy Eighteen !
LOVE YOU! *YUCKS I'M GAY*



Random things:
1. I un-privated my twitter already.
Haizzz nvm la weird followers jiu weird lo. It is frustrating when you want to retweet something badly and it is forbidden. LOOL. Plus, it'd be beneficial for people who read my updates via my blog as they do not have a twitter account. Yea.:D


2. Thanks zz for lending me his jacket during chem if not you'll probably see a block of ice sitting at J/K4. And vinus's one during econs! :D



3. ONE MORE PAPER TO GO.


4. Had a hard time ps-ing sw aiya paiseh if you don't like. This is sw when she wears enlarging lens, rebond hair and lipstick (you know how pale her lips looks right!)


5. Finally watching my movies and vamp diaries. LOL.

This is a super emotional post. So you should only read if you're mentally prepared for it.
Somehow, I wish the person involved will read and do some serious reflections as well.

Read more at your own risk.

Went to pepper lunch for dinner!
A little bit weird (trying to inject some youthful vibe in the elderly yo).

Had quite a variety. Didn't take any picture because we were starving.

Except for this:

Btw looking for a couple of good photography apps for iphone.
If possible wish to link it up right here!

Awesome to see it first, right? Is it even possible?
If you know of any, do recommend me.
Alright, dinner now.

I'm damn pissed/emotional because I'm hooked to "grenade'' but I can't find it anywhere. WTSSSS WHO HAVE SEND MEEEEEEE.
Iiloveyou.

Just realised I forgot to blog about Sat.
So here it is.

Went to meet y first, talked about vday (getting her present is a chore), bai nian a little before heading to Ape's house.

Basically I'm cai shen ye. Go there give moneh only.

Lost quite a bit, like 6 bux altogether?



Had a few rounds of in-between. Did not join the peeps for poker.
Ape's luck is super good!


Anyhow, sw and I were not bored as we were hooked on the game "bubble bobble"!.
If you have been reading/know me, you know I really love to play that shit! Childhood thing!
:D


Awesome or what?
We braced through many many levels and I think we stopped at aroubd 50+? Tired.




The guys went off and the mj crazy girls continued.

Touched by sw&Ape's notes. (Though there's grammar errors) D:


Thank you Sw, Yq, Ape, Vinus, tyx, tyx's mummy and wj for vday presents!
And an upcoming vday makeup lunch treat hahahah hello good food.

Alright I'm going to burn the essential oil (DAMN GOOD STUFF), do some work and vola! Sleep.

Super a lot of tags for this post!

No words can express how down I'm feeling right now. My life is in a fucking mess and I can do nothing to help, at all. I never felt so helpless before, never. I feel sad. Sad is a word I never really understood until today, this very moment.

Today wasn't a good day.


I studied carbonyl (dk for what) so left the important ones, untouched. Who can be more stupid than me?
I seriously can't find an answer.
Well, that isn't any big deal cause it's my fault for not preparing for it earlier. No one to blame.


I hardly dwell over unhappy stuff in studies. I know I can do better if I have prepared for it and that's makes everything better. At least I know I can. Just put in the effort.




However, what happened was really too much for me to take.




Who the hell injured his/her backbone during standing board jump? You got your answer, me.



It's hurts as though someone is constantly pounding into that area. Hurts so much every when I'm sitting.
I never hurt my back before so I am really at a loss now.
Well, I hope salonpas works, provided I can buy one by today. If not, I really doubt whether I can get out of bed tomorrow.


That's not exactly something that has the capability to crush me like a peanut.


I checked the weather forecast. A supposedly cloudy day turns out to be a hot-wet day. Hot initially and poured later. Glad the rain stopped.

Rain will dampen my mood for sure. Especially when I'm outdoors. Nothing makes me as pissed off as soaking wet shoes, damped paper (which will crumple/tear) and smelly clothes.


Well, if rain do bring me down I would most probably die of depression by now.




Something else happened.






In my whole entire life, I never really lost anything, physically.
The most is some skin when I suffer from sun burn, some hair when I chop them off, some nails when I clip them, some blood when I hurt myself... Nothing irreplaceable.


Who really bothers about material-loss anyway?
They are not born with you to start with.





However, just a moment ago my whole toe nail dropped off.
I don't know how to react. Calm yet dying. Mixed feelings.


The best solution is probably google for answers (since I doubt I know anyone whose toenail dropped off).
Freaked out by the results. Tell me, how?


All I know is cry, continue to google, bandage my toe and hope it will heal by tmr.
This year is really bad for rooster.