I am too, one of the souls out there. Another mad selfish soul.

I'm constantly upset with myself. I never think before I speak, especially when I'm angry/not in a good mood. Desperately needs some mood/anger managing skills. Impart me, someone?

when words come out like blades, they cut both ways.
That's right, double-edged sword.

I got to stop blogging about what I feel (I did cool down before I do that post anyway)
Imagine how bad I'd write if I blog at that very... Implusive moment.

It's like, things happening at home. I stopped blogging about them. Any bad shit.
I just, breathe.
Can't let my heart take over my head again.

Wouldn't let 1 unhappy event ruin all we have.



To those that care/bother/love me: I can't swear, but I'd work hard and try my best to control my mood/anger and be less irritating alright!


At least I don't flare up as much. Everytime I control my mood i will feel so happy and will give myself a pat on the back. Finally growing up. Hooooo. Don't care I insist on this point despite the constant figure in height.

I don't wanna lose any of you, including LOML(figure this out yourself if you don't know what is it). Baby, appreciate my efforts! Good bye.

Typed by a weary girl in the middle of the night with super not user-friendly iPhone blogging site.

Feed on my self-esteem until none is left








Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
School.
Didn't even realise I didn't blog for quite some time. Weird.

School is so busy nowadays. I will give up computer time for shopping, tv and sleep. Been sleeping before 12. Or 12.30am. Good good.


Got some stuff these few days.
1. Pens
2. Vans
3. Hair stuff. Go B1 chameleon today. Everything 10 for $5. How to resist?!

Not very nice+new but there were some good stuff. Anyhow, I need something other than all the frustrating shit I've been going through. 
Got 20 items in total for $10. Worth it.
Love the zebra print hair tie.



----
Woke up super late today. Rushing like mad. Forgot to bring most of my work fml. Stoning throughout most of the lessons. Mood was horrible.






Sometimes it's pretty hard.

"When someone asked you what's wrong. You couldn't answer because they were the reason"
A quote I can never comprehend, until today.

I'm easily influenced and tend to change my opinion on things if you try to reason it out.


It was driving me crazy because sometimes people don't understand.
The thing is, if I got it wrong once, it's alright, I'd try again. Twice, thrice.. etc. But come to a point when I'm so scared of making any errors deemed "wrong" in their eyes I can't do/like what I want anymore.


People are so quick to pass judgment and they never consider how you'd feel about it.
Even if you dislike something, phrase them in a better way?

Being truthful is good but not to the extent you forget others do have feelings too.
Everyone views different things differently. 



When I open up, people either don't care or judge. So, what's the point?
Extremely weird to come out from my mouth but this is exactly how I feel nowadays.




I'm still a happy girl after everything but maybe just teeny bit less happy.

I never felt so much in a day before. Yesterday somebody, not sure whether it is an accident or not, jumped. I'm like searching for words to use to write this post. It is hard. Hard to express what I want to say. A mixture of emotions. No, turmoil, a state of blank.


She is not someone I know but I'm super lost and sad at that moment. Well, she fell right next to my house and I have a clear view of everything.


Life, so fragile. 




I did not witness the whole process of... death. I'm thankful I didn't. Couldn't sleep last night and mind was all messed up just by looking at the aftermath. I would certainly go bonkers if I did.
Thank god, literally.


So this was what happened. I napped like 3 times yesterday. So mad tired and I'm aching so badly because of that irritating monthly cycle. Imagine I didn't sleep, I would have heard the bangs, the screams, the commotions. Me being myself, I would definitely check it out.

And that will be the worst choice of my life.
I know, I always watch people killing one another, eating each other blahblahblah on tv but when it comes to real life situations, I don't think I'm fit to handle it.




Thank you all the aches and sores.



Anyhow, I only realised this whole thing when I'm keeping the laundry at 7pm. Was shocked when I see a policeman downstairs with a tent.

Called sm but she didn't pick up. Her phone >.<. I'm so lost, seriously lost. Called mum and only managed to calm down when sister reached home.


A lot of people are.
But I ain't. 



I know, who don't die? In fact, people die every single day for every other reason. But I never thought it'd be so near to me. So near. It's like watching a movie in 3d. Yet, it is not something you can brush off after the whole 'show' ended.




I cannot imagine what I'd do if someone close passed away. I can't. Plain crazy.



I'm not afraid or anything because I've nothing to do with this whole thing.
I'm just affected. Traumatised. Shocked. And perhaps, depressed as well.
I can't help to wonder how her family is going to handle this. Pray everything will be better though words can't change the fact forever.


I hate to say this but this is part and parcel of life.
Now I only hope my family, friends and love ones stay with me, till death do us apart.



From now on, I would want to create more happy memories, for myself and for others. Because in life, you will never know what happen next.


You too,  okay?

Some things are just like so. You can never make things the same ever again. This very moment will not repeat again. 
Like a shattered mirror; a torn paper.

Even if you manage to piece them back, the crack lines will still be there. Such a simple theory yet there are many blind fellows out there. Breaking things up(literally and the opposite) and regretting. 

Every wrong step is like throwing your piece of mirror on the floor. It might not  have adverse impact but it will. Don't subject yourself to regrets in life so make decisions wisely. 

Is like, once your drop your phone, your phone will keep dropping, no?

Ok maybe you don't really get my point(lousy language). Try alright.


This is typed by a girl with an empty stomach, shivering body, an exploding brain and a heavy heart.

Weird but true, I typed this because I peeled off a sticker and it refused to stick back to the paper nicely anymore. Heyhey this is call learning from real life examples, applying past knowledge, critical thinking and bullshitting because I don't wanna study anymore. Loool



1. Met sw in the library today.
2. Had Mac!
3. Dying
4. Survived on bread today. As in breakfast and lunch.
5. Meeting sm almost everyday looool.
6. Need to shower. Bloody rashes!:(

Can you imagine if you went to the doctors and you had a sore throat, and he asked you what the problem was, and you suddenly turned into Eminem.

“I CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT IT REALLY IS, I CAN ONLY TELL YOU WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. AND RIGHT NOW IT FEELS LIKE THERE’S A STEEL KNIFE IN MY WINDPIPE.”

Yes. Blogger crashed? I think 1 of my posts is gone. Byebye forever :(
Seriously, I'm planning to archive my posts. But then again, I've plans to delete my archives. Can't stand how I blog in the past.


People really grow up hur? Really prominent in some of the people.
Let's blog a little.




Friday. Supposing an early day. However, due to the programmes, we ended up leaving the school at about 6. By the way, got back GP timed assignment. Weak content, weak language, pian ti (wrong question analysis) so I got 23? Really gonna brush up all my subjects wtf. I'm like a goner.



Headed to Uniqolo after school. Grand opening. Nah, not my type. Nothing caught my eye, like..... o.o?
The sales ain't amazing. (and I've nothing in mind to buy.... more interested in Mimosa but didn't have the chance to browse).


Before the USD raise again, I added tons of shit into my cart from various US website.
Okay maybe not a lot. Sizes are quite hard to gauge.
Gonna ask yy to help me with it hahah!


Speaking of her, I got a birthday post to do! Yes we finally celebrated her BELATED TTM birthday. :/
And I'm halfway through my hair post... Maybe I will finish it up by.... Sunday?


So blogger don't stab me okay.
Love you.


Last thing before I go.
I just want to remind anyone reading this; be happy. Because there are 3589048094454 reasons to be. Even the simplest one. Trust me :>

Tried a lot of jeans (and clothes). Realised some are too big, some are too small!
Super frustrating, especially when most of them are brand new!


I think I'll to clear them at either their cost price of fraction of the price.
Head to some one's house to take pictures?
:D


School was fine. Really fine. PE was great. Had a game of netball. :D NICE.
Plus early dismissal.

I think PE is the only lesson 12A can get compliments.
Initiative, pro-active, etc etc. Woooo~~
We are super on time and group ourselves without much guidance.


Yes, that is provided it is games, not the torturous training for 2.4km/napfa.



If only every lesson is as fun as PE. Or at least, less nagging.
I know the teachers are extremely worried for our class, given the fact that 0912A was so much hardworking yet they under performed (as of Maths la).
Mdm Chan literally screamed at us today. Haizzz I know teaching is a super tedious profession but sometimes I really hope they will try to look at things from our point of view.


Sometimes we do things without anything. That's how teenagers work nowadays. Right?

Quick post.
Tmr is going to be a slack day. That explains why I slept 3 hours away. Okay fine I'm so going to regret again when I'm copying homework.

Fell asleep (ACCIDENTALLY) the night before and I've to copy a lot of work in school today. Sucks.


Anyhow, today was pretty interesting.


Had chem pract and we ended up smelling like vomit. Luckily the smell on my hand faded if not I swear I'll dream of a vomit machine or something.

It really smells like vomit! Cause I vomitted on my hand before fml .


Oh we also had our 5 stations (AGAIN ARGH BUT I'M SO GOING TO USE MY MOCK RESULTS).

Just do it.

For the sake of doing. Stayed back after school because of the rain. Hate rainy weather when I've to travel.


Witnessed a drama when I'm waiting to get on a bus. A middle-aged man, or uncle, was having a heated arguement with a teen.

It was the young man's fault but this is exactly how society is becoming. What to expect?
Just to fill you up, the young man cut the queue of that uncle so ya.

Everyone was stunned and just stood there and watched. I was one of them.
Seriously, I don't know how to react.

Luckily, another uncle went up and dragged the middle-age man away. If not the drama would be extended to the police station.


I believe that uncle was in a foul mood. But what to do?



Life is as so. Take it or leave it.



There is no way you can change the way of living of another person, so why bother so much?


Pictures up on facebook. Check tmr for post :D