Hiiiie.
Shags. I think I can't and wouldn't stop blogging. Thanks for putting up with all my craps.

HTHT with babygirl just now.
I don't know what to say... Just glad?

Asked her many things. Although there is still tons of questions unanswered, I understood many things as well. Let's hope the mutual understanding never dies.



I'm drafting my Sentosa post now. Uploaded my first batch of pictures over at facebook.
Still thinking how to write the post.
So ya, I'm slow.

Confession #136577:
Sometimes I go quiet and fade into the background not because I go all emo or what.
I just don't know how to mingle around without being awkward. You know that feeling?

Every time I try to make it better, I tend to screw up.


I'm afraid of losing things that I dear so much so I stop .. cherishing/caring?
I don't know how to say this...

For example I got A as my best best friend and suddenly I'll be damn cold/bad to person A because I'm so afraid I can't live without that person. Because one day things will change and we wouldn't be as happy as that very particular moment. It will be dreadful to think back in future how close we were to who we are.


So I'll stop myself from being happy because it will be quite depressing to know that that will be the last time I will feel that way or what?




Okay I've a better example.

I'm like a poor and hungry kid. When I've my favourite ..... okay lame but egg mayo sushi (craving for this now), initially I'll feel damn happy, eat, smile and thank god. The next moment I'll be sad, depressed and down because I don't know when would be the next time I can have it again, so to prevent myself from drowning in happiness, I stop being as happy/grateful etc. That will stop me from regretting anything. Sort of, in some way.

That's why it is hard to make me real happy.
Happy meter is like a climbing a mountain. The moment I reach the top, I'll definitely cry.
Because the rest of the time will be a descending journey. 
Happened to me? Yes, I can't exactly remember the date/period... but it did. Twice. You know when?


Weird, I know.



I just don't like things to come to an end. While the sad thing is everything has to end, no matter what.